I was reading a website the other day and saw a post about “the other woman”. One of the comments was about how mistresses are able to “trap” married men in their webs. Did you know that women like me will use expensive French perfume, wear sexy, silk lingerie, have their nails and hair done every week, go to the spa and have cosmetic surgery just so they can lure married men away from their wives? You didn’t? Neither did I.
I was the other woman 9 years ago. I still am the other woman 9 years later. Let me paint a picture of THIS other woman.
Right now, I’m sitting at my computer wearing a ratty pair of boxers (with Marvin the Martian appliqued on one leg) and a t-shirt that I bought at an Army/Navy store about 35 years ago. My hair is pulled back in a high ponytail. It’s a bit humid, so the actual tail is a curly, frizzy mass trailing halfway down my back. My guy called me at 5:30 this morning and by 6:30, I was out taking my daily power walk. I have not had a chance to shower yet. Pretty, right? No….I don’t think so either.
I haven’t been inside a hair salon in about 5 years. My hair care routine is: shampoo, condition, comb, air dry. I’m getting more and more grey by the minute, but I refuse to dye my hair. Every now and then, however, I need a change, so I’ll find an obnoxious color (right now, I have fuchsia in the front and underneath in the back) that washes out eventually.
As for my nails….I’ve had one manicure in my life and hated it! I’ll never go back. I play volleyball, so my nails break. If they do, no biggie….they’ll grow again. If I have unbroken nails for longer than a week, I may put polish on them, but within a day or two, it’s starting to chip. Again….no biggie. Pedicure?!?!?! Forget it! No way!
I don’t think I’ve ever owned expensive perfume, French or otherwise and as for silk lingerie….if it can’t be washed in my washer, I’m not buying it. I do have some lingerie, but not silk and I don’t lounge around in it just waiting for a married man to happen by so I could trap him.
Cosmetic surgery? Ummm…..I rarely wear makeup, so why would I alter anything surgically?
In other words, my web-weaving skills aren’t up to par, so how did I “trap” my married lover? I have no clue! Oh, wait….could it have been that I took the time to get to know him as a friend before any other kind of relationship started? Maybe he likes the idea of a low maintenance woman. Maybe he likes having someone to talk to. He certainly doesn’t want a “temptress” if he’s with me!
My man knows that he can call me, tell me he’ll be here in 1/2 an hour to take me out and I’ll be ready. Don’t get me wrong…I DO dress up every now and then. I may even put on a bit of makeup once a year or so. But for the most part, I’m wash and wear. Some would say that how I’m sitting here now isn’t how I greet my man when he comes by. Well, they would be wrong. The ratty boxers and old t-shirts are my staples. This is how I dress when we’re just hanging out doing things around the house or watching movies. This is how he met me and in 9 years, he hasn’t tried to change me. I have never heard him ask “Are you really going to wear that?” when we go out. He trusts that when we do go out, I will know what I should wear.
I understand the reasoning behind the comments of the woman on that other site. Maybe she found out that her husband was cheating and she needed a reason that didn’t involve putting the blame on herself. Who knows? Maybe her husband did fall for someone who used “tricks” to get him. I know there are women who claim to only date married men, but unless these men are super-rich, and are financing the expensive “props” and cosmetic surgery, I can’t imagine anyone going through all that trouble on their own to trap an average Joe. Instead of that woman looking for traps and webs of the other woman, she should look within. She needs to talk to her husband. For a lot of men, it’s not all about sex and looks. Does she have a guy who just can’t be monogamous, or is she not giving her husband what he needs? The sooner she finds out what’s wrong in her marriage, the sooner she can either fix it, or move on.