My relationship began 8 years ago. There are good times and bad times, but so far, we’ve gotten through it all together. There are times I’d like to just cut my losses and run, but then there are other times when I can’t imagine my life without him.
When we first got together, his daughter was 2. I understood why he couldn’t leave his wife because his daughter was so young. He was afraid that his wife would take his daughter away. Now that she is 10, that reason, in my eyes, has become an excuse. At 10, she can’t be taken away without her being able to contact her father. At 10, she should be able to understand that he is unhappy, not with her, but with his life at home. At 10, she should be able to understand that she would probably see her dad more if he wasn’t living with her.
He is with me almost every night from the time I get home from work until at least 11 PM when he goes home. He’s with me almost every Saturday….all day. He’ll leave my house after midnight on those nights. When he’s with me, he always makes it a point to call his daughter around bedtime so he could say good night.
I miss not knowing his daughter. When I go on vacation, I always make it a point to bring something home for her. I pick shells off the beach, or bring something home from whatever attraction I visit. Of course, she can’t know that whatever it is comes from her dad’s girlfriend. The gifts come from a “friend”. I would love to be able to bring my man and his daughter with me to my condo in Florida. I want to show her my favorite spots. I want to walk on the beach with them. I want for them both to know that part of my life. Hell….I want her to be able to spend the weekend here with us so we could do the things that normal people do (go to the park, visit museums, take day trips, etc.).
So, no….it’s not perfect. It is what it is, and for now, I have to accept the way things are until I decide I can’t do it anymore, or until HE decides he needs to make a change in his living conditions. We’ll see where this goes.