Happy New Year

Every New Year’s Day, I go through the same thing: I try to decide if I want to be alone another New Year’s Eve/Day, or do I end this relationship?

My man was here the other day and when he left, he told me he would be here on New Year’s Day. It would have been the first time in all the time we’ve been together that we’ve spent this day together. I didn’t know what time he would be here, but usually, he’ll call me as he’s driving down. When he comes here, we go out to breakfast, so I didn’t eat. It was about 12:30 when he called from his phone (not a good sign). He’s not feeling well, running a fever, and he’s not coming. Not only is he not coming, he also said that he probably wouldn’t be going to work next week. I didn’t take it well. Basically, I hung up on him.

Am I being unsympathetic to his being sick? No. I understand that people get sick and it’s beyond their control. The problem arises that tomorrow, he’ll be “well enough” to entertain his sister and her boyfriend. Also, if he kept the promise to me that he would be with me, this wouldn’t be an issue. He’d be here. The other problem arises that he says he won’t be going to work all week. Why is that a problem? It’s a problem because before he left me last weekend, I asked why he was being so nice and how many weeks will it be before I see him. He told me that he would be down during the week and then it will be back to work, so I would MAYBE not see him for a few days. Enter Blizzard of 2010. By the time he got here, it was Thursday. That’s when he told me that his sister invited herself over for Sunday and we went to get the groceries for the dinner he was going to be making for them. That’s also when he told me that he would be here on Saturday (today). Now, he’s sick. Not only that, but I now feel that I screwed up his plan to be all romantic and sweet so he could prime me for his news that he was taking not one but TWO weeks off of work. Once I asked how many weeks I wouldn’t see him, he had to come up with Plan B.

I don’t think he does this to purposely hurt me. I seriously think that being a male, he’s naturally stupid. He feels that if he doesn’t tell me something, it can’t hurt me. We’ve had this conversation. It doesn’t sink in.

See, he knew how much I needed to be with him this weekend. I think I’ve mentioned that on Monday, I’ll be going to work for the first time in over a month. I’m not looking forward to it. The day and week are going to be hell. My boss is certifiably crazy and the only reason I’m still there is because in this economy, no one is hiring full time. If I could work full time in the local Stop N Shop, I’d give my notice in a flash! Screw the salary. It’s close and I could walk. He knows how I feel about this whole thing and he still made no effort to get here.

This is a BIG disadvantage of seeing a married man. He’s never around when you need him.

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