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Does His Wife Even Care That He’s Gone?

With all the crazy weather and flooding happening around here, I have had a roomie for the past 4 days: my man! He spent the day with me last Saturday, went in for an emergency 24 hour shift at 6:00 that night, came here after his shift, but when he tried to get home, all routes were flooded, so he came back to my place. I was on the phone with him as he was on his way home and at some point, he said he would call me back, so I know that he called home. I thought he was calling to see if his daughter wanted him to pick up some take out for her. He was off the phone with me for about 5 minutes, then called me back. A half hour later, he was coming up my stairs and this is where he’s been staying until about an hour ago.

It’s been nice having him here, but it’s also nice knowing that I have my house to myself again. I’ve lived alone for a lot of years and have gotten used to doing what I want, when I want to do it. If I wake up at 3 AM and can’t sleep, I’ll grab my remote and watch TV for a while, or I’ll read for a bit. When I’m ready to fall back asleep, I turn off the TV (or just fall asleep with it on), or put down my Nook. With my man here, if I can’t sleep and want to watch TV or read, I have to actually get out of bed and go to the livingroom. The guy needs to wake up early every morning, so I don’t want to keep him awake too. I’m glad to be back to my own crazy schedule.

Last night was my volleyball night. I left my guy here at 6:00 PM and he met up with me and my friends for the ritual post-volleyball feeding at 8:30. My friends accept that I’m seeing a married man. When they heard that he’s been staying with me this week, they all had the same question: Where does his wife think he is? My answer: I have no clue. What he tells his wife is his business, but I really don’t think she cares where he is. In 4 days, she hasn’t called him at all. He’s called his daughter and his daughter has texted him, but not a word from his wife. Obviously, she doesn’t care that he’s not home and doesn’t care where he is.

True…there are times when she wants him home. She calls to find out when he’ll be home if she has plans to go out and needs him there to watch their daughter or if there’s a bug in the house that needs to be executed. She’s also been known to call to tell him that he needs to take out the garbage. Other than these few little “reminders”, she couldn’t give a rat’s butt where he is or what he’s doing. I don’t understand it, but, that’s the way it is. I’m torn on how I feel about her lack of concern. On one hand, I feel that it’s a good thing because if she did care about him, I wouldn’t have this great guy. On the other hand, I feel bad that this great guy has to live with someone who doesn’t care about him and only wants him for household chores. (Before there’s even more controversy to this whole situation, let me make something clear….neither one of us considers his watching his daughter as a “chore”. We both feel that his time alone with this daughter is important and he looks forward to those times.)

Now that he’s home, he’ll have a chance to clean up after the storms and spend time with his daughter before school starts up again. I’ll use the time alone to do girlie things with my friends, read, walk, and watch cheesy movies (I think tonight’s feature will be “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”). This may sound boring to most people, but sometimes, boring is good.

How could she NOT know?

Here’s the thing: I don’t understand how his wife doesn’t know he’s seeing someone. Every Saturday, he leaves the house by 10 AM to be with me. We go to breakfast, do housework and repairs, we do yard work and just hang out together until at least midnight. Weekdays, he gets out of work at 3:30, yet doesn’t get home until 10 or 11 PM.

She has a house, she doesn’t have to share a bed with anyone, she doesn’t have to go grocery shopping, she doesn’t have to cook, she doesn’t have to do his laundry, she has him to pay the mortgage and other bills and she gets a vacation once a year. Who would complain? Bottom line is that she just doesn’t want him, yet she doesn’t want to give him up because then she feels her free ride would be over. What she doesn’t realize is that he will continue to pay for the house and the bills because he wants his daughter to grow up in a house with a yard. He’s not a deadbeat and he loves his daughter. He’s not going to leave her out in the cold.

I’m more of a “wife” to him than she is. I listen to him complain. We cook together. We clean together. We visit his relatives. We fight. We make up. He doesn’t have any of these things at home. At home, he has his daughter and he spends as much time with her as he can. He’s there for all of her school functions and for all the “extras”. When he’s with me, he calls his daughter at her bedtime to talk to her about her day and to say good night.

So, again, how can this wife NOT know? The answer is, she DOES know, she just doesn’t care.