When I started this blog, I knew I would get trashed. It’s inevitable. This is a very touchy subject and I understand that. I just wish that people who feel the need to psycho-analyze me and my relationship actually would READ my posts….ALL of them….before trying to pass judgement!
Yes, there are “serial cheaters”. But sometimes, there are those who cheat because they were emotionally abandoned by their spouses (I’m talking about both men and women here). So, if one is emotionally abandoned, what do you do? Do you stay with the spouse, knowing you will never get another hug, or kiss, or kind word? Do you live in misery for the rest of your life? Even if you never dreamed you would cheat, if you resigned yourself to the sexless, loveless life you found yourself in, what would you do if you met someone who was willing to give you a hug, or talk to you, or laugh with you? Cheating is not black and white…there really are shades of grey. I’ve said over and over again that not all relationships are the same. No one outside of ANY relationship knows what happens on the inside. I have no delusions. I’m sure my guy and his wife DO talk civilly to each other when they have to. She will always be the mother of his child. There will always be that bond. But that doesn’t mean that there is a real marriage there.
When my man and I go out, whether it’s with friends or alone, people view us as the “old married couple”. We know each other so well we finish each other’s sentences (sounds cliche, but it’s true), we know when to give the other distance, we can make each other laugh. We hold hands in the car, or when we’re walking down the street. We steal kisses when we work together. We know each other’s faults and can call each other on them.
There are waiters and waitresses who know us as a couple and probably would be shocked to know that we’re not married to each other. If I go to our favorite diner without him, someone always asks about my “husband”.
Is this the ideal situation? Of course not! Certainly I would have preferred to meet a nice SINGLE guy, but I didn’t. I met him. I didn’t go out looking for a married man, and in the beginning, I also didn’t expect to be in a relationship with him. That was because he’s so much younger than me. I didn’t know he was married in the beginning. Maybe I should have ended it when I found out, but I didn’t. Things progressed to where we are now and there’s no point looking back.
People are going to judge me whether they know me or not. I just wish that before judging, they look into themselves and ask those “what ifs”.