People have asked me in their comments “How do you know his wife doesn’t care?” Well, the past few weeks have been awful and her lack of caring is perfectly clear.
My MM’s 50 year old cousin was diagnosed with cancer about 5 years ago. Last week, she lost her battle. We had spent the last two Saturdays visiting her in the hospital.
Before they were married, my guy and his wife (then girlfriend) lived in the same house as this cousin, so they knew each other well. I knew this and asked when he and his wife would be going to the viewing so that I would not run into them there. He told me that I would be going with him to the wake and funeral because his wife would not go to either. I was pretty much stunned by this.
This was a woman who did nothing but try to be friends with his wife, but his wife wouldn’t give her a chance. She hates everyone in his family, and they grew to hate her because of it. The one person who loses in this situation is their daughter, because she has a whole family she doesn’t know. She doesn’t want to know them because her mother has poisoned her mind when it comes to his family.
So, we were at the viewing as a couple. I sat with the family and walked his elderly aunts to the ladies room to make sure they didn’t fall. After the viewing, one of his cousins and his 95 year old Aunt Ruth met us at a diner for a late supper. My man stayed with me that night because the funeral was going to be early the next day.
No one asked about his wife; it was expected that she wouldn’t be there. Do I find it odd that his family accepts me like they do? Of course I do! They never all his wife if they need help with anything and they never call to invite her over, but they call me at least once a week to come over and play board games.
Yes, my relationship with this MM is so different than any other that I have heard of. We are always out in the open; never hidden. It’s not always like this when dating a married man or woman.
I’m glad that I’m accepted and I’m glad I got to say “good-bye” to a wonderful woman. One thing I feel bad about is that his wife, the one who SHOULD have cared, didn’t. She should have put her feelings about his family aside for this. I also believe that his tween daughter should have been there to at least pay her respects and meet her cousins.
RIP, Kathy…you were a wonderful friend and mother. You will be missed.