Tag Archive | other woman

How NOT to Get Caught

BookcoverA while ago, I wrote a post about an idea I had to write a book on how not to get caught when you’re having an affair.  Well….I did it and it’s finally finished!

I thought long and hard about whether or not I should write this book, then  decided that it needed to be written.

Getting caught hurts EVERYONE!  It hurts the married lover, it hurts the spouse, it hurts the kids and it hurts the one in the relationship with the married lover.    Because affairs happen for different reasons, everyone involved hurts for different reasons.  This is why getting caught is not something you want to happen.

The book can be purchased by clicking on the link to the right of the posts.   There is a lot of good, useful information in it that could come in very handy.  I’m sure you’ll like it!



The Other Woman will be on the Radio

Hi, EveryJennifer Keitt Showone!

I just wanted to let you all know that I have just been confirmed to be a phone-in guest on The Jennifer Keitt Show.   The show is on Kiss 104 in Atlanta, GA and the title of the show will be “The Other Mrs” (though it’s possible that this could be changed).   This is a live, call-in show that will air on July 14th from 6 to 8 PM EDT.    It can be heard as it airs, on-line.  Please go to http://www.jenniferkeitt.com and follow the link to the show at the bottom of the page to get more details as they are posted.

I’ve never done anything like this before, so it should be a very interesting experience!  I hope some of you tune in!


How Does Your Married Lover Split Valentine’s Day?

Today is Valentine’s Day.  My man’s daughter had already told him that he needed to get home right after work because she had a surprise for him, so I made plans to work all day, then make myself some poached salmon for dinner.  After that, I was going to get to bed early for a change.  Didn’t happen.

My man calls me every morning at 5:30 when he’s on his way to work.  Sometimes I’m awake because I’ve been working all night, but sometimes I talk to him when I’m half asleep.  Today was one of the latter days.   I got to sleep around 1 AM, so at 5:30, I still wasn’t ready to be awake.  He was annoying the hell out of me…asking me if I walked the dogs yet.  Telling me to get up and walk the dogs.  I finally dragged my tired ass out of bed, got into some sweats and got the leashes on.  I got outside and there was my guy!  He took the day off so he could spend the day with me, yet still be home after work to spend time with his daughter.

He brought me chocolate covered strawberries and a card.  Once the dogs were walked and I got into some real clothes, we went to breakfast.  After that, he fixed my washer, then we took a nap.  The poor guy works so hard and he hardly ever gets a chance to just relax and do nothing, so that’s what we did for a couple of hours.  We were all napped out, so we went out for lunch.  We hung out for a bit, then he left for home and his daughter.  All in all, it was a good day.

This was totally unexpected.  I don’t really do Hallmark holidays, so this was something different for me.  It was a nice different, though.

I may not have worked all day and I didn’t have my poached salmon, but I can STILL get my ass to bed early!!!!  Happy Valentine’s Day, all!

It’s Been a Long Time….

As the summer progresses, I’m realizing that the 9th anniversary with my man is coming. Nine years. That’s a long time.

Through the years, I’ve gone from frustration at not being able to be with him, to telling him it had to be over, to wanting him to get our affair out into the open and move in with me, to where I am now, which is pretty much content with the way things are. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but I’m relatively happy. I say I don’t know if it’s a good thing because I sometimes wonder if my apathy means I just don’t care about him as much anymore.

Actually, after 9 years, I’ve come to realize that we’re not only lovers; we’re also best friends. It’s not that I don’t care about him, it’s that I care more than ever and I’m just more secure in our relationship. It’s been a long time coming, but I’m now in a place where I don’t need him living with me to know that HE cares. Yes….sometimes it feels like we’re kids with a curfew, but as time goes by, the times I feel like this are few and far between. We enjoy our time together and neither of us want to give it up.

Now that it’s summer, we have a lot more time together. We work together on weekends and most weekends, he stays with me. It makes more sense that way. He lives about an hour away from the shop, I’m only 10 minutes away. When a job calls for us to be at the shop by 5:30 AM, being 10 minutes away is a good thing. Also, we don’t end our day until at least midnight most times. After working that long, he’s exhausted, so the hour drive simply isn’t doable. I have no idea what he tells his wife when he’s gone all weekend. I don’t ask because I really don’t need to know. I do know one thing: his wife doesn’t care if he’s home or not.

In the 9 years we’ve been together, we’ve worked weekends together for 5 of those years. In the beginning, he went home after each job. Little by little, he’s been staying with me more and more. When we work, it’s usually at a street fair or some kind of festival. When we work a public event, I used to worry that his wife would bring his daughter to one of them. She hasn’t.

As this 9th anniversary approaches, I think of the progress we’ve made over the years. We’ve had fights, we’ve helped each other when we were sick, we’ve had serious discussions, we’ve worked and we’ve played. I’ve come a long way since the early years when I was so unsure of him and his feelings for me. Over the years, he’s made it a point to show me how important I am in his life. I think at this point in our relationship, he’s the one who’s starting to feel a bit insecure. He knows he can’t stop me from doing things without him and he sees that I’m taking full advantage of our time apart. Who knows…..maybe in another 9 years, HE’LL be secure too.

Happy anniversary!

Vacation time again….back to reality

Vacation View from the Balcony

Last week, I left for vacation with two friends. We had a great girls’ week of sun, fun and relaxation! Usually, when I go away with the girls, it’s with different girls and they only stay for a long weekend, so I’m alone the rest of the week. This vacation, I had no time to obsess over not being able to be with my guy.

When I got my email this morning, there was a comment from “Jen”, who can totally relate to the other woman situation, including knowing that she can never know her guy’s daughter. I think that’s the hardest part of all this: not knowing the one person most important in his life (yes, I realize his daughter is number 1 and that’s how it should be).

His daughter will be 11 soon, and is going through some changes. He called me up the other day while I was lounging by the pool to vent about some troubles his daughter is having with some bullies at her school. It’s a bit strange that he asks my advice on the situation since I’ve never met his daughter, but I’ve been through the school thing and pretty much have experience. True, I have boys, but trouble is trouble and there’s always a good way to handle things and a bad way to handle things. What amazes me the most is that while her teacher complains that the girl is “moody”, she never once mentioned that it COULD be because she’s 11 and is about an hour away from her first period. What is wrong with this picture? When I mentioned that this could be the cause of her “moodiness”, he said that was what he was thinking, but didn’t mention it because he figured the females at the meeting would blast him for blaming hormones.

Anyway…my guy’s daughter is very important to him and he is involved in every aspect of her life. If she has some sort of event on a Saturday, which is usually my full day with him, he goes to HER event. We work together on weekends during the summer, but if there’s something of importance happening in his daughter’s life, he doesn’t work that day so he could be with her. When he’s with me, he always takes time out before his daughter’s bedtime to call her to talk about her day and to say good night.

When I feel guilty, it isn’t that I’m taking him away from his wife; his wife doesn’t care that he’s not home. I feel guilty about taking time away from his daughter. As I’ve said, she’s the most important person in his life, and it’s hard knowing that I can’t know her (at least not at this time). I do hope that some day soon, I could meet her and get to know her.

After 10 years, I’ve learned to make the best of the situation. When I think about it, I really kind of have the best of both worlds. On one hand, I have a man who helps me with work around the house, who takes me out at least once a week, who hangs out with me just watching movies and who is a great lover. It’s like I have a rent-a-husband; he’s here until bedtime, then he goes home. We also talk a lot. We’re on the phone probably more than anyone I know, married or not. On the other hand, I have a lot of free time to do as I please. I have girls’ nights out and girls’ vacations. I play volleyball and take daily power walks. If I can’t sleep at night, I can turn on the light and read or watch TV without worrying about waking someone up. I don’t have to answer to anyone about what I buy. Even though I cook for my man, I don’t do it every night. When I’m on my own, sometimes I don’t even bother cooking; I’ll just make a sandwich when I’m hungry. I go by MY schedule.

Yeah, there are times when I get lonely, but with friends, pets and hobbies, there really isn’t much time to be lonely. I don’t need to be with someone constantly. I’m just recently beginning to realize that I like my alone time.

Being the other woman isn’t easy. We don’t just have him at his best. I listen to him rant about work, he asks for my opinion if he has a problem with his daughter (after all, I DO have two sons that I didn’t kill during the teen years, so I’ve been through it all…..alone), I get him when he’s tired, I get him when he’s not feeling well, I get him when he’s cranky after a long day at work. It’s not all peaches and cream, but we work through things. Is this a forever thing? I don’t know. But right now, I think I’ll keep him.