Tag Archive | unwanted wife

Things I Don’t Get #2

Do you want your husband? Do you love him? If the answer to these questions is “No”, then why do you force him to stay? How can that be enjoyable for you?

Being the other woman isn’t an ideal situation. My man doesn’t talk much about his marriage, which I think is a good thing. I take that as a sign that he doesn’t want to be the stereotypical cheating husband who is constantly badmouthing his wife. Every now and then, however, he snaps.

Every now and then, his wife will tell him she wants a divorce, but when he mentions visitation with his daughter, his wife tells him that won’t happen. Why? This is a woman who blames everything on his not being around, so why would she make it difficult for father and daughter to see each other in the event of a divorce?

I am the perfect ex-wife. I didn’t ask for anything except for child support (which was $25 per week per child) and temporary alimony ($50 per week for 6 months, which I told him to stop paying as soon as I found a job). In my divorce papers, it states that my ex will have visitation on Sundays from 9 AM to 7 PM. It also states that he can see his kids whenever he wants, as long as he calls first. It goes on to state that he could take them any weekend he wants and can be with the boys for 2 weeks to take them on vacation. Bottom line here: I know that it’s important for kids to bond with their father, so I didn’t stop him from seeing them….EVER.

I also made a promise to myself that I would never say anything bad about their father if my sons were anywhere near me. I always thought that if he was as bad as I thought, they would see it eventually without me pointing it out. In other words, I was a grownup (go figure).

In light of this, I don’t understand why a woman would purposely and maliciously keep her child from being with his or her father if said father is loving, attentive and interested in being with the child. I don’t understand women who find the need to badmouth their exes to the kids. What does this accomplish? From what I see, the only thing it accomplishes is making the mother look like a fool when she’s proven wrong.

In my case, my man’s wife has to know he’s seeing someone. He’s hardly ever home. He goes home to be with his daughter and to sleep. I really don’t think she cares, as long as she has a house, a yard, paid bills and time for herself, yet she will use her daughter as a pawn in a sadistic game designed to punish her husband. Again….why? Let him go. Why do you make things so difficult for him? Do you hate to see him happy? Don’t you want to get on with YOUR life, whether it’s alone or with someone else?

I really don’t get it. You had a good man. You ignored him. When you weren’t ignoring him, you were treating him badly. He was miserable. All you had to do was show him that you wanted him. You didn’t do that, so he turned to me. I’m not asking that he leave you. I understand his commitment to his daughter, which also means his commitment to you. He doesn’t want to leave you stranded. I know it must be difficult for you to accept that someone else is making him happy, but what have YOU done to make him happy? If you had made an effort, he wouldn’t be with me.

I guess what this all comes down to is this: if you don’t want your husband, let him go. That doesn’t mean you have to divorce him. Sometimes, divorce isn’t possible for financial reasons. Just let him live his life. If he’s a good guy, he won’t stop supporting you. All he wants is a chance to be happy and to be able to do things with his child. Don’t keep them apart.