Things I Don’t Get……#3

Here it is, Wednesday night and my guy just left. We were having a great night, just hanging out, and around 9:00 he went to call his daughter (as he does every night when he’s not with her). When he came back to me, I could tell that he was upset about something, so, I asked what was wrong. He told me that his daughter asked him if he could take her to a church fair the next night and before he could answer, his wife grabbed the phone from his daughter, said, “Your father doesn’t have time for you.” and hung up on him. This really upset him and it also upset me.

That was just so wrong on so many levels. First of all, I don’t care what the circumstances are, you NEVER talk bad about the other parent! This only makes you look like a fool. This is a woman who had a good man and basically threw him away. He’s doing what he needs to do for his daughter. He’s never denied his daughter anything. If she asks him to take her somewhere, he takes her. He’s never said “no” to spending time with her, so mommy’s comment was totally uncalled for. I suggested that from now on, he should tell his daughter to go to her room and turn on her cellphone at 8:30 whenever he’s not home so he can call her without being interrupted.

I never understood trashing the other parent. What’s the point? Does it make the trasher look good? Nope. I know the situation is far from ideal, but this is what happens when you decide to ignore your husband. How long do you think he’s going to be happy without affection? How long will he be happy without someone to talk to? How long will he stick around without someone to have fun with? So now, why are you bashing a man who is trying to balance his life between making himself happy and making his daughter happy?

My guy goes to every school function, takes his daughter fishing, takes her to county fairs, helps her with homework, goes to her school if there’s a problem that needs to be addressed….he’s there for her when she needs him. She knows that she can call him at any time and no matter where he is, if she needs him, he will go to her. How dare her mother try to tell her that her father doesn’t have time for her?!?!??!

It’s times like this where I wish I could go to her and ask what she’s thinking. I understand that she has a cheating husband and in all probability, she knows this, however, she’s the one who threw him away. What was he supposed to do? Stay faithful to someone who wanted nothing to do with him. After 2 years of being ignored, he turned to a friend (me) and we became lovers. In the beginning, I actually tried to get him to save his marriage. I asked him if he was doing all he could to make things better. I gave him suggestions. It was too late for them. She wanted to be left alone and she got what she wanted. It’s now time to lie in that bed she made for herself.

He’s now happy when he’s with me, and he’s with me a lot. His wife has a house with a REAL yard, she has her bills paid, she gets to go on vacation with him, she has him to do all the yard work, she has him to take out the garbage, she has his health insurance and she will get his pension and SSI if something happens to him. I have none of these things. I have him for a few hours a night, 3 or 4 nights a week, and all day Saturday.

My guy’s wife has the freedom to do whatever she wants. If she wants to go out with friends, he’s there to watch his daughter. If she wants to go shopping, he’ll stay home with his daughter and pay the bill for the shopping when it comes in. What she does with her time is up to her.

Yeah….not an ideal situation. Not ideal for anyone involved. But, as I’ve said, he really does try. He’s a good father and he’s always thinking of his daughter even if he’s working and can’t be with her. I’ve also trained him pretty well in the not speaking bad about his wife when his daughter is around thing. He knows my feelings about that. Right now, I don’t get why she can’t give him the same consideration.

So, all you wives out there (and husbands, too)…..no matter what, never, never, NEVER talk trash about the other to your children. Why would you want to try to make your child feel that one of his or her parents is a deadbeat, especially if that parent’s actions say otherwise? Why do you want to confuse your kids like that? Your kids aren’t stupid. If your spouse (or ex-spouse) is as bad as you think, the kids will see it for themselves.

I know it’s hard, but sometimes, as parents, we need to put our feelings aside and do what’s best for our kids.

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5 thoughts on “Things I Don’t Get……#3

  1. Very well said. I know my man’s wife has trashed him so many times and it’s just wrong.

    Love your blog by the way! Don’t ever stop!

    • Hi, Tess!

      Thank you for your comments. Parents trashing each other to the kids has always been a pet peeve of mine. Glad you like the blog. I won’t stop. It’s good therapy!!! LOL!

  2. A formidable share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly analysis on this. And he in actual fact purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love studying extra on this topic. If possible, as you become experience, would you mind updating your weblog with more particulars? It’s highly helpful for me. Huge thumb up for this blog post!

  3. As the outsider in his family do you really believe a boy who will lie cheat and steal would truly ever FEEL the desire to live honestly with you? Open your eyes he will be a cake eater as long as you live for his crumbs . All you will ever get is the little he is willing or able to steal from the WOMAN who has his heart and its not you all you get is the crumbs he steals from the WOMAN he put a RING ON HER FINGER not yours she has EVERYTHING you WANT . Selfish selfcentered little girls like you should go back to kindergarten and learn the RULES TO HAVING A GREAT LIFE .#1 NEVER TAKE ANYTHING THAT IS SOMEONE ELSE’S #2 DON’T STEAL YOU LOOK CHEAP AND DESPERATE.#3 IF YOU LIE YOU BECOME THAT LIE .#4 BE RESPECTFUL LOOK AT WHO YOU HAVE BECOME WILL YOU EVER BE THE WOMAN HE TAKES TO HIS WIFE AND SAYS HERE HONEY LOOK I GOT A REPLACEMENT FOR YOU. #5 DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO HAVE DONE TO YOU. You believe you are his only ? Haha jokes on you . He has a dozen others just like you and you know it remember the times he CAN’T be with you Haha if you believe a boy who cheats with you will be true to you . OPEN YOUR EYES TAKE OFF THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES YOU ARE THE STRANGER YOU HAVE NO HISTORY YOU ARE THE LIE THAT BOY IS LIVING . He will NEVER LEAVE WIFEY cause she is HIS WIFE you are just his lie for a piece of pussy . Men are PIGS you are willingly being fed dejapoo as he sets up HIS NEXT LIE you are NOT HIS WIFE you are just his extra and if you are willing to be only his crumb snatched I pity his wife cause he has been doing this to her shame on him shame on you.

    • Ah, yes….me and my “Approve all” policy!!! LOL!

      When reading this, with all of the “screaming”, I got the impression that I was sitting in on one of those televangelist sermons!!! It even has the same judgmental tone.

      OK…first of all, the person I am with is a MAN, not a BOY. Now, if you live in the real world, you will know that sometimes, good people make mistakes. My marriage was a mistake, but I chose to end it even though there were kids involved. When someone is threatened with never seeing his or her kids, it makes leaving the marriage impossible. I had custody of my kids, so there was no threat of never being allowed to see them. I had “control” of visitation, and I knew I would never NOT allow my kids to see their father. That is not always the case. I’ve been over this before, so I’ll stop now before becoming TOO redundant.

      As for him taking me to his wife to tell her I am her “replacement”…that wouldn’t happen. That would be cruel. His marriage hasn’t worked in years, she has to know in her heart that he is with someone else, but she doesn’t care. However, if he were so cruel as to tell her he found a “replacement” that she would need to “save face”. A broken marriage isn’t something some people want broadcast. They would rather have others think things are fine when they’re not.

      Now…about him having “others” besides me…..there isn’t enough time in a day! Period.

      I would like to add one more thing. For someone who gives the “holier-than-thou” sermon of an Evangelist, you sure are crude. I have been called a “piece of ass” (which I do find pretty funny for reasons I’ve already talked about) by others, but for you to call anyone a “piece of pussy” is just over the top. Are you so ignorant that you needed to resort to being crude? If you want to be taken seriously, you need to learn to express yourself in a more intelligent way.

      You need to get off your high horse. Life is not all roses and sugar. We all can’t be as “perfect” as you.

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